It’s Time to Stop Hating the Tories – We Need to Pity Them

Let’s make no mistake about it, the Tories don’t really like the poor. In the past five years, they’ve tried to bully them into work, tax their spare bedrooms and move council tenants to ‘more suitable’ cities for their incomes to name but a few deeds. But what I’m going to suggest (however much this might distress you), is that they’re not actually evil.

If I were a doctor, I would diagnose the Tory patient with a case of ‘Chronic Confusion’ – an innate misunderstanding of what it really means to help society and prepare it for the future. Like a constantly high parent that can’t comprehend the link between their slapping of their child and its bruises, the Tories don’t understand that their actions are damaging those they wanted to help.

Cameron’s failure to understand those in need is damaging Britain

“Whoa!” I hear you say, “the Tories don’t want to help the poor, they hate them!”. The truth is that it is their dislike of the poor and disadvantaged that prompts them to want to eliminate them from society. The only problem is they can’t ship them off to a desert island or lock them away in Wales, meaning the only way to get rid of them is to make them rich(er). Even though the origin of this goal is ethically dubious, perhaps this could have become a mutually beneficial relationship for all involved, but a major issue quickly follows.

The Conservatives don’t really understand life.

They have an incomplete grasp of what it is to be human.

For people who can’t afford to keep the heating on at winter, the fact that ‘the deficit has decreased by half as a share of our GDP’ isn’t going to keep them warm at night. The fact that there are simply ‘more jobs’ doesn’t help if there are none in your chosen sector. The fact that ‘more people are going to university’ doesn’t help those who will never be able to pay off their student loan. In their attempts to aid those in need, they have consigned them to a life of misery. Maybe they have done a great job on the economy, but if no one feels a difference, what’s the point? To this end, the Conservatives have a pointless obsession with statistics, because they are so far removed from reality that this their only way to measure appreciation.

Not everyone has felt the ‘economic recovery’

The tax cuts given to the rich is just another example of the Tories’ Chronic Confusion. They truly believe that if we keep the privileged tax evaders in our country, the wealth will trickle down to those who need it. It doesn’t because you can’t trade with the rich to help the poor.

Okay, so maybe the poor are just lazy. Let’s force them into jobs and soon they’ll see how satisfying a good day’s work at ….. Sainsbury’s can be. The Conservatives see any job as a good job, but we know this not to be the case. Nobody really wants to work in low-paid, long hours jobs and would much rather do something they enjoy. Money isn’t everything and most of us don’t really want to do soul-destroying work. If the Tories stopped looking at the figures and began looking at people, they would discover that (shock horror) even people that didn’t go to Eton have aspirations.

And let’s accept it. The Tories aren’t the brightest bunch. Like a cross-eyed statistician, they fail to see very basic correlations between policies and their effects. If you cut public services and benefits, people will have to use food banks. Instead of seeing this link, David Cameron credits his government with a successful advertising campaign –raising awareness of food banks. If you sell off homes at discounts of 50%, there will be less council housing – meaning that in the long run fewer people will actually be able to sleep in a bed, let alone own a home.

Perhaps their new slogan for the General Election should be ‘not malevolent, just confused’. So what should we do? Pity them, belittle them and give them a knowing smile. You wouldn’t debate with a toddler, so why argue with a Tory?



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